I met a friend from support group today at lunch (which I almost forgot). It was helpful to talk about things and what had been going on lately, but it made me think of Madelyne more than I already was.
Today I should be 33 weeks pregnant, and happily thinking about the changes in our life, and Landon becoming a big brother. Instead, we try to "carry on" with normal life while missing a piece of our family. I think our support group friends will understand that there will always be faces missing in our family photos. Do you understand that feeling? If not, be thankful...but be understanding.
This photo makes me feel happy (that he will know he is a big brother & has a sister) and sad (that she can't be in his arms, able to annoy him, take too long in the bathroom, etc.) We visited Madelyne at the cemetary on Sunday and Kenny snapped this photo.
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| Landon visiting baby Mady's gravesite We went on to have a fun afternoon at Niven's Apple Farm & the weekend before we took Landon to see Sesame Street Live in Atlanta and Landon had a great time. I am so happy we had that time together to reconnect as a family.  |
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| Mommy and Landon
If you read this post and think it's random...this is just our life. One moment is normal...the next is grief...this is our little journey.
One of the things I miss about our Mady was her perfect little hands. She looked like she had a perfect french manicure, and her fingers looked so much like Kenny's/Landon's hands. I hope to do something special on her due date to celebrate her & will share that with friends soon. I'm thinking- Manicures for Mady...asking friends to treat themselves to a manicure & post a photo online in celebration of being "a girl". One thing I am already missing so much is not being able to share those memories with Mady. I wish so badly that I could paint her little baby toes and take her for a manicure when she is old enough to enjoy it.
Will you join me in getting a manicure on November 12th? |
I will be joining you on that day!
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