That is extremely challenging for someone who is "Wordy" as my husband tells me. Also, this is our life, our story...how do you summarize the experience/pain, etc. On 10/21 we celebrate 6 years of marriage. Not only did we recently lose Mady (7.3.12), but last year on 10.20 I went into premature labor at 13 weeks a delivered our baby at home, unexpectedly. It wasn't exactly how I pictured our 5 year celebration. We have weathered the storms & continue to work at staying a strong couple.
Our bodies are exhaused with grief, our heart's ache, and our minds are clouded, but we love & live each day the best I can. I love my family and am so thankful for them. Kenny is such a wonderful teammate. I love you babe...Happy Anniversary!
Here is what I sent to St. Francis...we'll see if they use any of it. If you or someone you know has any questions about the programs through St. Francis Eastside, I'd be happy to help in anyway that I can. I hope that families don't ever have to use these services, but let me know if I could be a resource in anyway.
Here is our story:
Kenny and I decided to start our family in 2009. We lost our first pregnancy at 9 weeks were devastated, but decided to try again, and welcomed our son Landon at 35 weeks in March 2010. I chose to receive my care from St. Francis Eastside because of the location to our home, work, and the distance to the interstate for out of town guests. The environment of the Eastside campus was very welcoming and accessible.
Landon’s gestational age/maturity caused him to spend 10 additional days at the St. Francis Eastside NCU. We received tremendous support from the staff through counseling, comforting and teaching us how to parent and support our early baby. We spent many nights being coached by nurses Summer, Ashley and Benita (Spelling?). They encouraged us to take things one step at a time as we patiently waited to bring our boy home. Landon is now an active, healthy two year old. We had the opportunity to attend the NCU reunion in 2012 and enjoyed being able to celebrate his success at home.
We decided to pursue another pregnancy, and in October 2011 at 13 weeks my water broke, and I delivered the baby at home. I was shocked and scared wondering how pregnancy loss could have occurred again. I was transported by ambulance to St. Francis Eastside E.R. and received compassionate care from the staff there. We returned home a few days later with few complications except a broken heart.
It was determined that my losses showed no pattern or cause for concern medically, so we courageously pursued another pregnancy. We learned that we would be expecting a little one in November 2012. We reached the 20 week milestone with an encouraging anatomy ultrasound. The baby was developing perfectly, and we were expecting a little girl, Madelyne. We celebrated with a gender reveal with family and friends and then left for a week long family beach vacation. Upon our return home I began having contractions, but thought it related to a stomach virus and dehydration I had earlier in the week. My water broke within an hour of returning home, and I was immediately fearful of delivering at home again.
We arrived at St. Francis Eastside and were taken to Labor and Delivery where we stayed for four days. We learned on the third day of observation that Madelyne’s heart was no longer beating. Our precious girl would not live to see our faces or meet her big brother Landon. I delivered Madelyne the next day and when we saw her she was so beautiful. Her features were similar to her brother’s and her body was perfectly formed for her 21 weeks of life. The chaplain, Cindy Bishop performed a blessing for Madelyne where we were able to honor her life and represent her as a person and member of our family.
We never felt alone while at St. Francis. The nurses took time to sit with us at every hour of the day explaining what was ahead and answered any questions we might have. They cried with us and took extra care to make us comfortable offering the best accommodations they could find: private rooms, extra bedding, food and drink. They cared for us as a family and treated us with compassion and respect. Losing a third child was very emotional for us, and left us with empty arms and confusion. We never felt alone while at St. Francis. After the loss of our daughter, everything was very overwhelming but the staff allowed us time to make the important decisions regarding her care. With the help of the nursing staff and chaplain we were introduced to the Tiny Touches burial program at Robinson Cemetary in Easley, SC. Madelyne is buried with other children, and in some ways that brings us some comfort. By participating in the Tiny Touches program our family was released of the financial burden associated with a death. We are able to visit as often as we’d like. We often bring flowers or stop and visit, allowing our son to get to know his sister as a part of the family.
After we returned home we opened the bereavement gift from St. Francis and were surprised at all that it included. The nurses took some beautiful photos of our daughter which will forever be a keepsake. The gift was personalized with a pink crocheted blanket which Madelyne was wrapped in during the photos, a rosary, purple prayer shawl, Mommy and me bracelets, a pink smock dress and bonnet. We could feel the warmth and care that was put into the gift we took home. Many nights our son cuddles the teddy bear and it brings me some comfort that his sister also laid with it. Thank you for honoring our child, our Madelyne as a life, and member of our family. We couldn’t have asked for more compassionate care than what we received from the St. Francis family. We will forever be grateful for your friendship and support.
In the months following we have become active in the SHARE Infant and Pregnancy Loss Support Group through GHS and the St. Francis hospital systems. Through this group we have found friendships with other angel families that understand the journey we are traveling and allow us the opportunity to share our real feelings.
